Can A Fart Kill?
19 May 2009
What are the Ig Noble prizes? These prestigious awards are given each year at Harvard University to those engaged in strange scientific research such as fast repetitive ticks (FRTs). Canadian researchers showed that farts can actually be lethal. Ig Noble Prizes were awarded to the Vatican and a soft drink company to show that Harvard’s horn-rimmed professors also have a sense of humour.
Rectal gas (flatus) happens to Kings, Queens and the rest of us, and is a constant reminder that we’re all quite human. And when the urge to pass flatus happens in delicate situations, we would prefer to be in the middle of the Sahara Desert.
It’s never been easy to obtain medical information on flatus. After all, what doctor wants to be known as a specialist on farts? But my research reveals that most people pass flatus 15 to 25 times a day. Others deserve to be in the Guinness Book of Records as flatus can reach mind-boggling amounts for those who are unable to metabolize lactose. One man with this problem had 141 rectal expulsions in a mere four hours after drinking two quarts of milk!
Very few escape a dinner party when they suddenly have a desire to pass flatus. I’d bet that few have the courage to let nature take its course, and the devil be damned. That is, unless they’re fed up with dinner parties. But is the withholding of flatus a wise medical decision?
Dr. Wynne-Jones, a New Zealand physician, says being polite on these occasions can cause long-term problems. He claims that increased pressure in the colon results in small herniations, (diverticula), in the bowel wall. But he makes no mention of whether he practices what he preaches. Perhaps he is an infrequent guest at dinner parties.
Genetics plays a role in the production of flatus. If a Mother produces methane gas there’s a good chance her children will also manufacture it. A lighted match was once placed near the trousers of a research participant while expelling flatus. The flame turned royal blue due to methane gas. But, please, do not try this experiment as some situations can cause more than a blue flame.
Patients are always advised prior to examination of the colon, to thoroughly cleanse the bowel with laxatives and enemas. One patient who had not done so was undergoing sigmoidoscopy for removal of a benign polyp in the colon. Once the polyp was excised the area was cauterized to control bleeding. But due to inadequate bowel cleansing, the collection of gas caused an explosion. This resulted in a 15 centimeter (six inch) tear in the intestinal wall requiring surgical repair. The force also blew the doctor across the room.
But can a fart kill? Researchers at Simon Fraser University in British Columbia won their Ig Noble Prize by researching the habits of Atlantic and Pacific Herring. They were studying whether herring could hear the high frequency sounds emitted by approaching killer whales. But during this research they discovered that herring produce fast repetitive ticks (FRTs), small farts, as a means of communicating with each other.
Since herring have no dinner parties to attend they can pass tiny farts any time they wish to do so. But there’s a problem. Killer whales can hear these expulsions and provide a speedy end to herring. So the moral is, farts can kill.
During the Harvard prize-giving other Ig prizes were awarded for outstanding ideas. For instance, the Vatican was given the economics Noble Prize for outsourcing prayers to India. But neither the Pope nor anyone from the Vatican came to accept the award!
Nor did anyone attend from a major soft drink company in Britain to take home the chemistry award for creating bottled water that contained twice the legal limit of bromate, a carcinogen.
Buck Weimer, of Pueblo, Colorado, also deserves a prize. Harvard is not aware he developed Charcoal activated underwear for his wife, who has Crohn’s Disease, to solve her embarrassing condition. Weimer says one client can now attend church as this gas-eating underwear also absorbs odours. The underwear is available for both sexes. For more information in the U.S. call 1-888-433-5913. In Canada 1-719-584-7782
