Bull Elephants Advice on Treating IBS
16 Jun 2009
Would you like to have your picture taken in the nude sitting on a toilet? Then have the photo published in The Globe and Mail, Canada’s national newspaper? Surely, we’d all sue for such an indignity. But a recent photo showed Diew, a bull elephant whose been trained to sit on an elephant-sized toilet. No doubt the photo meant to stress that the irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) is an elephant-sized problem. But editors published the wrong photo.
It’s ironic that an elephant can be trained to sit on a toilet seat, but humans can’t be taught how to avoid IBS. It’s estimated that 25 percent of North Americans suffer from this disconcerting disease.
Diew sitting on the throne, would question whether IBS is actually a disease. Diseases are supposed to have pathology and with IBS the bowel looks normal. But Diew might show some sympathy when so many humans suffer from abdominal bloating, irregular bowel movements, constipation and gas.
Medical journals report no known cause for IBS. But a well-trained bull elephant would tell humans they’re in deep doo-doo from a variety of human errors.
I’m not an expert on bull elephants, but I’ve never heard that they need laxatives. Humans, on the other hand, have devoured laxatives for years. TV commercials stress their daily need. And the habit has ruined millions of bowels. Human intestines become lazy when laxatives do the work for them. Studies in mice show that when they’re given laxatives for four months, degeneration of intestinal nerves occurs.
Diew is obviously not easily embarrassed. He can defecate at any time and anywhere he desires with or without a toilet. But humans must sometimes delay the call of nature. Patients frequently tell me they often postpone a bowel movement. They may be at an important meeting. Or the call is inconvenient for other reasons. This is a good start on the road to IBS.
A bull elephant would also remind humans that he and other animals in zoos are provided a more nutritious diet than humans. There’s no junk food or packaged items laden with salt and sugar. Rather, they receive adequate amounts of fiber that make stools bulky and soft, rather than hard rocks.
I tried to convince readers several years ago that a high fiber diet usually causes soft stools to float. This column caused a few stiff necks and interesting comments. But I have never had the urge to prove this, either with humans or elephants.
Since elephants have long memories Diew could also give humans a history lesson on the virtues of a high fiber diet. Hippocrates, The Father of medicine, preached the value of whole wheat bread, vegetables and fruit as a way of assuring soft stools. Cleaves, the ship’s surgeon on the battleship King George V, cured sailors of constipation during World War I by giving them unprocessed bran.
He’d also remind humans that increased dietary fiber, by keeping stools soft, helps to prevent diverticulosis. These hernias of the colon sometimes become infected resulting in diverticulitis that may require surgery to remove segments of the large bowel.
To further drive home the value of fiber Diew would also explain that it fights obesity and diabetes, two of the nation’s major killers. It’s easy to drink sugar laden drinks and still be hungry. But when bulky fiber foods are part of the diet they decrease the hunger reflex and fewer calories are consumed.
To prevent movements as hard as rocks, read labels on food products to see how much fiber is present. Start the day with all bran cereal and whole wheat bread. Use whole wheat pasta, fruits, raw vegetables, and add nuts, seeds and raisins to salads. Snack on plain popcorn, almonds, dried apricots and dates.
Since Diew can be trained to sit on a toilet perhaps he can also be taught to use a camera. It’s only fair game that the Globe and Mail editors should allow Diew to snap a picture of an embarrassed human sitting on the throne clad only in his birthday suit while desperately straining to pass the hard rocks of IBS.
