Sir Isaac Newton’s Boob Lifter
18 Apr 2004
How do I remember Niagara Falls? I’m standing at the brink of the falls on a cold, snowy, night with no one else around. Years ago when I practiced medicine in that city I often stopped on my way home to see this awe-inspiring sight. For others its image is the "Honeymoon Capital of the World". But I hope it won’t be soon known as "Boob City". And I imagine how his law is being used wouldn’t impress the great English physicist Sir Isaac Newton.
Botulism toxin , historically one of the world’s deadly killers, has been approved by Canada and the U.S. to treat cosmetic conditions. The result? Thousands of aging baby boomers, TV stars and others have lined up to have "Botox" injected into their skin to remove wrinkles.
But few things in our society attract more attention than a woman’s cleavage. This fact has not been lost on Dr. Kevin Smith, a Niagara Falls dermatologist. He’s now using Botox as a breast-lifting procedure.
How does it work? Dr. Smith must have been a bright physics student and remembers Sir Isaac Newton’s Law. It states "that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction". So why not apply this basic law to enhance the cleavage line? Since some muscles are making breasts droop why not paralyze them so other muscles can pull them up?
I don’t know if this technique has been given a name. But I’d suggest it should be called "Sir Isaac Newton’s Boob Lifter". It’s a simple procedure.
Dr. Smith injects Botox into the pectoralis minor muscle which pulls the breasts downwards. This allows the rhomboid muscles attached to the shoulder blades to pull the breasts upwards unrestrained by any opposing force.
I suspect that the law of physics, which shocked the scientific world in the 17th century, now applied to raising female breasts, would make Newton roll over in his Cambridge grave.
Dr. Smith recommends Botox injections primarily for women between 30 and 55 years of age whose breast size is either A or B. In effect, it’s impossible to raise large breasts .
Some doctors claim they use Botox injections, not to lift breasts, but to improve posture. But Dr. Smith is more of a realist. He states that men aren’t rushing to have Botox injections for postural help. But Shakespeare wasn’t entirely right when he scribed, "Vanity, thy name is woman". A recent report shows that Boxtox is also becoming "a guy thing" as they also try to rejuvenate their faces.
Botox is not a new drug. The Food and Drug Administration in the U.S approved its use years ago to treat certain medical conditions such as facial spasms and crossed-eyes.
Now, it’s also being used to treat chronic low back pain and migraine headaches.
But 17 years ago a Canadian doctor using Botox to treat eye conditions noted that its paralyzing effect also removed wrinkles. The idea remained dormant until recently. Now Botox sales are booming.
Fortunately our health care system does not pay for Sir Isaac Newton’s boob lift or for erasing wrinkles. If it did, it would be cause for revolution while seriously ill patients are awaiting treatment..
If it makes a woman happier to have a breast uplift why should anyone care? But I’m not aware of any medication that doesn’t have side-effects that eventually turn up. So if were a woman I wouldn’t touch Botox with a 10 foot pole. Good sense indicates it’s foolhardy and unnatural to inject even small amounts of a refined strain of a well-known poison strictly for cosmetic reasons.
Being of Scottish ancestry I also wonder why anyone in their right mind would pay $500.00 or more to have breasts lifted a wee bit by a Botox injection that lasts at the most four months. Then thin the wallet again by another $500.00 to make the nipples stand out just a little more.
Niagara Falls has lots of company. In Beverley Hills, California, plastic surgeons have Botox parties. Guests talk about plastic surgery, receive their Botox injection and sip champagne. The more I see of today’s society I’m convinced that Sophocles was right when he wrote in 450 B.C. "Whom the gods would destroy they first make mad".
