What You Should Know about Teenage Sex
11 Jun 1977
Mr. D. H. of Winnipeg writes, “I am a Gifford-Jones fan because I like your practical approach to medical problems. I particularly enjoyed your article in which you advised there’s no need to hang from a chandelier to have satisfactory sex. I hope you will write more columns on this universal subject. I would be interested to know your thoughts on teenage sex.”
Another reader Mrs. H. N. of Windsor writes, “My daughter says that most of her high school friends are no longer virgins. Recently one of them became pregnant. Would you do a column on teenage sex and how parents can cope with this matter?”
Many letters are sent to me about sexual problems of all kinds. A large percent come from concerned parents who find themselves on the horns of a dilemma. They don’t want to appear too prudish and old-fashioned and yet are deeply concerned that their sons or daughters are playing a hazardous game. They ask over and over again, “How can we handle this problem?”
Today Canadians live in a liberalized sexual society. On the surface one would think that the modern teenager would be the most knowledgeable generation ever. But this is not the case. Many young people have simply jumped out of the Victorian frying pan and into a blazing fire. The burns may be deep and long lasting.
An increasing number of teenagers are asking for the birth control pill in their headlong rush into sexual freedom. However, in their desire to escape from unwanted pregnancies, they have wandered into areas where they are babes in the woods. Their male counterparts also have discovered that there more to sex than pregnancy.
Teenagers are not tuned in to dangers of a free-wheeling sexual relationship. Like their parents, they believe that getting venereal disease means contacting gonorrhea or syphilis. Yet, several common problems such as trichomonas, fungus and bacterial infections are also easily transmitted by sexual contact. They won’t shorten a teen-ager’s life, but they can be extremely irritating and tedious to eradicate.
It’s a tragedy to see a 14-year-old girl develop these annoying diseases from premature sexual activity. It is an utter catastrophe when they contact one or both of the big venereal diseases while jumping from one amorous affair to another. Moreover, these diseases are not always diagnosed early because the symptoms may be minimal. This sets the stage for long-term problems.
The teenaged youths, an undiagnosed gonorrheal infection may result in troublesome prostatitis that goes on for years. For teenage girls this infection can produce sterility and chronic pelvic symptoms. And for both sexes an untreated case of syphilis can have disastrous results in later life. Doing your own thing with sex isn’t all roses and honey.
How can parents help children to circumvent these problems? First of all, they have to rid themselves of some major misconceptions about sex education. Some think that the less their children know the better. Others assume that they will learn about sex soon enough from their friends. Eventually all children pick up the facts from a variety of sources. Yet what they assimilate is often distorted and clothed in such vulgarity that it leads to lifetime fallacies about sex.
Too many parents have the wrong idea about sex education in the schools. They believe that emphasis on birth control automatically leads to sexual promiscuity. It’s like saying that the more you know about sex the more you’ll want to try it out. Or that ignorance is a good thing in sex or anything else.
This year a large number of Toronto’s secondary schools refused to participate in Birth Control Week. Some principals admitted they were afraid of parental reaction to sex education. And while the V.D. rate was escalating and thousands of needless teenage abortions were being done, some health officials were still debating whether this instruction should be called birth control of family planning. No wonder teenagers go down the wrong road when parents argue over such trivia.
Parents should support and demand sex education in the schools because most of them are poorly equipped to handle it in the home. Some are too embarrassed to discuss the subject. Others are so preoccupied with their own sexual troubles that they impart the wrong information.
Crude, clumsy attempts at teaching sex may be worse than none at all. The disapproving frown, embarrassed silences, or the inuendo that sex is dirty or evil won’t wipe out teenage problems or prepare them for a healthy attitude towards sex.
Parents also make the mistake of putting off explanations. Many girls are therefore shocked at the first sight of menstruation. Similarly, a boy’s first ejaculation can be a frightening experience if it occurs during a dream or masturbation, if no one has told him about it.
Fewer teenagers will fall into pitfalls if the techniques of sex, birth control and the hazards of V.D. are mandatory subjects in our schools. But parents can’t leave everything to the teachers. Good living starts in the home and too often children emulate their parents’ poor behaviour. Adults who jump from one marriage to another or who stagger from tavern to tavern can hardly expect good conducts from teenagers.
A research group once called homes in the evening to see how many parents knew the whereabouts of their children. To their surprise the telephone was most often answered by teenagers who didn’t know how to find their parents. That’s a poor way for adults to play the game.
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This article concluded with a note that readers could send a stamped, self-addressed envelope to W. Gifford-Jones, that he enjoyed hearing from readers and attempts to answer as many letters as time permits.
